If we accept that being listened to is the key to feeling valued and worthwhile, then we encounter a problem. Frazzled, exhausted teachers will fi nd it diffi cult to listen well and in order to ensure good listening it cannot be left to chance and the fl uctuating levels of teacher energy. If we are honest, we know that as teachers, we often appear harassed, busy and unapproachable to the eyes of pupils. Young people are put off trying to speak to us and the ensuing sense of frustration or even isolation can drive them to demand the much needed attention by anti-social means such as sulking, defying or arguing. After all, negative attention is better than no attention. Perhaps the greatest challenge at this stage of the model is to ask yourself ‘Can I, as a teacher, role model good listening? Am I respectful enough to set up listening systems?’ (Appendix B provides a helpful checklist for evaluating your ability to be a good listening role-model).