Parent narratives of grief are in part narratives of the search for answers to questions. The answers parents find shape their grieving and their narratives. From another perspective, it is the narrative that drives the quest for additional learning. Many parents sought medical information in their quest to learn what there was to say about the death. Some parents talked about developing a frame of reference for evaluating a child's medical treatment, the death, and their reaction to the death by comparing their experiences with the experiences of other grieving parents. To make comparisons requires a parent to deny personal uniqueness. Some parents found consolation in comparing their child's death with some other deaths. Some parents compared their marital situation with the situation of couples dealing with very sick children or children who had died. Some parents also found a frame of reference or solace in reading or song.