ABSTRACT
This chapter, "Communicating Vessels", is devoted to analysing relationships between families of choice and origin (natal families). Drawing on Smart’s concept of “family stickness”, it demonstrates its particular significance in Poland, where queer families experience homophobia and lack of recognition in their daily lives. This makes them see their families of origin as a refuge and a source of potential acceptance. The findings show that Polish non-heterosexual families often cannot afford to choose to cut themselves off from their families of origin and build their chosen families on their own as in the division described by Kath Weston in her influential book. It claims that having good relationships with families of origin is often a necessary strategy for survival (particularly families with children) and that Polish queer families do not build their chosen families in (complete) separation from families of origin, but quite conversely, they try to integrate them, expressing a strong desire to be accepted in a familial kin structure. This chapter also compares the perspective of families of choice with that of families of origin, drawing on focus groups done with parents and siblings of queer couples. By claiming their co-dependence and solidarity in the daily struggle for survival and recognition, captured in the title metaphor of “communicating vessels”, it contributes to a further reconceptualisation of the aspatial dichotomy families of origin/families of choice, and to create a new empirical and theoretical framework that moves beyond the dominant Anglo-American perspective and gives credit to complexities of (queer) family relations.
