Engagement is a systemic concept that usually refers to the joining process between the therapist and the family. John Burnham (1986) highlights the paucity of literature on the successful convening of families. Additionally, he comments on the role that prestige or status may play in the engaging process. He cites Napier and Whittaker (1978) as describing engagement as the “battle for structure”. I have heard Minuchin use the metaphor of dancing to describe not only the process of engagement but also of systemic change. He described watching the family’s dance, joining in, and then changing the step. Reflecting back on this metaphor, he did not at that time mention “taking the lead” to change the step or that as a man it may be easier to take the “lead” given society’s expectations that men lead and women follow.