The mantra for healthy couple sexuality is integrating intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism. Traditionally, eroticism was seen as the man’s domain, emphasizing drama, breaking boundaries, and perfect sex performance. Porn is a common model for this view of eroticism.

In truth, eroticism is integral to female, male, and couple sexuality. The mantra of desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction features integrated eroticism. Couples plagued by low desire do not affirm eroticism. To rekindle desire, erotic scenarios and techniques are vital. The essence of creative couple sexuality is awareness of sexual feelings and willingness to take a risk and play this out.

Be aware of the difference between erotic fantasies and real-life couple sexuality. Fantasy and behavior are very different realms. What is highly charged as a fantasy usually does not promote couple sexuality when played out. By their nature, erotic fantasies are not socially acceptable. What gives fantasies their erotic charge is that they are different from what you do and who you really are.

The key to creative, erotic couple sexuality is to integrate intense sensations and feelings into your relationship. The challenge, especially for women, is to find your “erotic voice” and own intense, creative sexuality.