ABSTRACT
A psychobiological foundation for the partnership is established when friendship, romantic attraction, sexuality, and attachment converge in an optimal way. I have described the unconscious processes involved as the two partners become acquainted with each other-processes in which there is a continuous appraisal of fit and complementarity as they establish a medium through which aspects of personality are both projected and introjected. These aspects of character include traits, needs, wishes, relationship scripts, conflicts, traumas, and other features of self-organization. Through these encounters, an individual determines the extent to which the other partner complements the self, providing the potential for further self-development. Through ongoing interactions that include conscious relating as well as unconscious communication through projective identification, the exchange of mental contents continues throughout the courtship as well as the life of the partnership.
