Unprotected sex in the marriage bed puts an unsuspecting straight spouse in real danger when the mate engages in clandestine homosexual activity. Carol, for example, was unaware of the threat: When Jim came out to me in 1991, he had been having secret, anonymous sex with multiple partners for more than twenty years. He hid his homosexual activity so completely that I had no reason to suspect his fidelity during those years. I assumed that we had a stable, monogamous marriage. Not so. Without knowing, I had an extreme health risk during most of our years together.