ABSTRACT
In this chapter, I describe the friendships in which both friends accept each other, but both do not respect each other's sexual identity (n = 15). In about a third of the friendships it is the straight man, in a third it is the gay man, and in another third it is both men. These men are mildly uncomfortable with each other. The gay men do not feel comfortable showing or talking about their sexuality with their straight friends. Likewise, most of the straight men do not or would not feel comfortable seeing their friends express homosexual affection or desire. These friends carry on their friendship by ignoring and hiding their sexual differences. They spend time together with some of the other people in their lives, but do not embed their lives in one another's. Both men consider each other to be good friends, but they would like each other better if they had the same sexual preference.
