ABSTRACT
To be dependent is the natural human condition. No one chooses to be born and no one can be born without a mother. 1 In most eras to recognize such obvious dependence and its lifelong impact and psychological significance was normal and more personally and socially acceptable than is allowed in late twentieth century Western societies. With its emphasis on interrelationship and connections, the Enlightenment made dependence an issue. It was one among many topics in human behaviour that was categorized and explored. Now, in so-called postmodern times, the emphasis is shifting to a preoccupation with the self and its perceptions. Any connection with another person or object, therefore, becomes suspect. As a result dependence, which always involves connection, is confused with addiction and no difference is discerned between, for example, relying on a tradition, seeking the approval of others, or using alcohol or drugs. Even what is natural is assumed, often unconsciously, to be a malign state (Kegan 1995). The political use of such phrases as "the dependency culture" has enlarged the scope of the theme. Dependence has moved from being assumed to being analyzed and finally to being regarded as an undesirable facet of life. It is, therefore, widely believed, 46implicitly and explicitly, that any shift from dependency to autonomy is both desirable and an achievement.
