This chapter interrogates how concepts of ‘good mothering’ and ‘intensive mothering’ exacerbate the messages received by women mothering in domestic violence. The chapter draws on research with women and former children who have endured domestic violence to reflect their experiences of mothering in domestic violence that shaped concepts of their mothering abilities. Ethnicity and poverty compounded some women’s distress and all women adapted their mothering behaviours and actions in response to abusive partners who targeted the relationship between them and their children. From previous research we found women’s focus is on the protection of the children but the current emphasis on ‘good mothers’ exacerbated women’s negative self-perceptions and influenced former children’s views of the perceived adequacy of how they were mothered in domestic violence.