This article revisits Christopher Hohler’s reading of the Pilgrim’s Guide as ‘not entirely serious’, but also takes its cue from the rubric that opens the book (argumentum beati Calixti pape), which signals the fictitious and satirical nature of what follows. A detailed examination of the routes and relics recommended in Chapter 8 of the Guide identifies censure of new apostolic saints and lay-warrior saints. In addition to the linguistic markers identified by Hohler, the narrative structure of the routes turns out to contain humorous reversals and anticlimaxes. A critique of the ambitions of Archbishop Diego Gelmírez for Santiago de Compostela is implicit throughout. This interpretation suggests that the choice of sites to visit had more to do with gently mocking the pretentions of churchmen and hagiographers than any attempt to provide a practical set of itineraries.